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I’m an open book. I hope you can connect with even just one of the many pages.

 
Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Routine Rut

Has your life been feeling like Groundhog Day lately? Every day, just like the last, as if you are living in a simulation. For many of us living with a disability, routine is the prescription for a healthy lifestyle…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Anti-hero

If you've ever felt like an imposter, pull up a chair. Sometimes on sleepless nights, we become the anti-hero in our own story, the boulder that blocks our path to success, the fly in our glass of Chardonnay…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Why you should care about accessibility even if you're not disabled

When I had two fully functioning legs, I went to plenty of places that could only be reached by climbing, stepping up, down, or even jumping. A few times, I wondered why elevators, ramps, and other accessible means weren't available at these locations, but I didn't let it anger me the way I do now. I didn't voice my concerns for those unable to climb, step, or jump, and I didn't post about it online or send an email…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Friends who have your back while climbing up a hill

Last week I spent five magical days between Sonoma and San Francisco with my friends. This girls' trip was the deep breath my soul needed. And as it turns out, my friends are the support system I didn't know I still needed. I went into this trip hopeful yet nervous about how my prosthetic would handle walking on the uneven dirt paths of a vineyard and up the incredibly steep streets of San Francisco. But I wasn't about to worry myself into missing an adventure, and after several major bumps in the road that threatened to cancel our trip, I learned that my friends were just as determined to drink all the wine in Sonoma as I was…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Mercury In Retrograde

Three times a year, an optical illusion occurs during which the planet Mercury appears to travel backward across the sky. This period is referred to as Mercury Retrograde. Because mercury is known as the communication planet in astrology, astrologists warn of the potential effects this can have on us and all of our relationships. Miscommunication, major shifts in mood, and technology issues are also commonly attributed to mercury retrograde…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

You are never a lost cause

Have you ever felt like a dirty penny on the sidewalk? Too tarnished to tell if it was even heads up, scuff marks dulling its shine, no doubt from all the shoes that stepped all over it like it wasn't good luck—just waiting and hoping for rain to wash away its scars and make it new again…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Self-Care Guilt

I left my full-time in-office job six months ago to work on my mental health and give myself some much-needed self-care. After working through a cancer diagnosis, fertility treatments, and returning to work three months after an above-the-knee amputation, I was drained…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

I’m not laughing at you, i’m laughing at me

Some things in life are so awful that you can’t relish in them or you might fall apart. So I’ve learned to make jokes when I can.

In doing so, I discovered a healthy way to cope with a set of very ironic circumstances.

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Plot Twist

After much thought and consideration, I've decided to refer to the loss of my leg and the cancer that lead to it, as a plot twist in an otherwise predictable story…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Anxiety Spillover

If you're experiencing anxiety, can say it out loud and are conscious of where it comes from, you are either pretty in tune with your mental health or have put in the work to get here. Now, how do you stop that anxiety from spilling over into all aspects of your life? …

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

It’s Scan Season

August is upon us. It's my scan season again, and the forecast is all "should" be well. This week alone, I have done my best to comfort two people who were due for their routine scans. When someone says it's scan day in the cancer community, you drop what you are doing and send them all the love, prayers, and healthy vibes you can summon. You cross all your remaining fingers and toes and hope for the best…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

You’re not sick anymore. Now What?

It's hard not to feel defined by a diagnosis. Cancer felt so all-consuming. So did being a new amputee. One day I woke up and realized I wasn't "new" to limb loss anymore. For the most part, I have a grip on my disability and the many accommodations that help me live my life. Thanks to the amputation that removed my tumor, I am cancer-free, and my blood work is within normal ranges. I only need scans once a year at this point. Scanxiety is still alive and well, but now only shows up on scan week instead of every week. My phantom limb pain is gone, and any neuropathic pain is infrequent. So now what? …

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