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I’m an open book. I hope you can connect with even just one of the many pages.

 
Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

DISABILITY stigma

When I lost my leg, no one ever told me I was disabled. It wasn't a word the doctor ever used, and it hadn't crossed my mind in any significant way during the early part of my recovery. It wasn't until I went out in public that I noticed the world outside my house was not exactly built for people like me…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Apparently, that’s a fetish

There is a whole subgroup of people out there who are particularly attracted to amputees and or/ their residual limbs. A fetish, if you will. I know we never talk about this, but I think it's time to tell you what it's like to be on the opposite end of those individuals' unique interests…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Full of intention

New Year's Resolution: a tradition, most common in the Western World but also found in the Eastern World, in which a person resolves to continue good practices, change an undesired trait or behavior, accomplish a personal goal, or otherwise improve their behavior at the beginning of a calendar year (Wikipedia). Sounds nice, right? Then why does everyone quit two weeks later and then hate themselves for the next 11.5 months? …

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Progress over perfection

It’s hard to believe I’ve been an amputee for three whole years. I still remember my first steps post-surgery, A bright purple hospital sock on my one remaining foot and a big metal walker by my bedside, ready and waiting for me to build up the courage to let all the blood rush to the end of my residual limb…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

I felt you there, Dad

There’s a permanence to loss that’s haunting. Your heart wants so badly to have your loved one back that it aches with the reality that you will never again have the chance to hold them and tell them what they meant to you…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Big Betsy Energy

You know when you need that extra push to help you climb a little higher? Like you start to doubt yourself for a moment and wonder if you were Insane to even try the hike as your one remaining leg shakes like a leaf in the windy Arizona landscape…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

What If?

How many times have you wondered what if? After the opportunity passed, I bet you wondered, "what if I tried" far more than you think, "what if I failed." After all, life is just a giant web of decisions and winding roads that take us this way or that way…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

What it’s like being this unique

Being unique is lovely, but at times it can be a burden. Nonconforming body shape, unusual gait, emotional commotion, and the eyes of the public can all stack up and create a mile-high load that feels like it might crush you…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Routine Rut

Has your life been feeling like Groundhog Day lately? Every day, just like the last, as if you are living in a simulation. For many of us living with a disability, routine is the prescription for a healthy lifestyle…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Anti-hero

If you've ever felt like an imposter, pull up a chair. Sometimes on sleepless nights, we become the anti-hero in our own story, the boulder that blocks our path to success, the fly in our glass of Chardonnay…

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Alexandra Boutte Alexandra Boutte

Why you should care about accessibility even if you're not disabled

When I had two fully functioning legs, I went to plenty of places that could only be reached by climbing, stepping up, down, or even jumping. A few times, I wondered why elevators, ramps, and other accessible means weren't available at these locations, but I didn't let it anger me the way I do now. I didn't voice my concerns for those unable to climb, step, or jump, and I didn't post about it online or send an email…

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