The healing after the healing

If you've been on this journey with me for some time, you likely know that I believe healing isn't linear. There is far more that needs recovery beyond a wound and I find that often the real healing does not begin until after the stitches have been removed.

I am finally in a better place thanks to a new antibiotic and some time. It's strange how the first few weeks of recovery feel like a haze of pain and side effects. Much the way the loss of a loved one sends you into shock initially, and then raw pain settles in like a fresh cut. As time passes, you begin to recover, and then just like that, a memory opens the wound back up, and you feel exposed and raw. This is what it feels like to lose a limb. It's the best way I can explain it to someone who really wants to understand what I have gone through. Healing lasts forever, really. So now I once again have arrived at the point where it's up to me to move forward. I must take it upon myself to jump back into the swing of the things that make me feel most like myself. So now that the nausea has mostly worn off, this week's goal is to submerge myself in watercolor paint, future blog posts, and books, while I wait for the next steps from my Doctor. But I know enough now to understand this isn't the last of my healing and I am at peace with that.

Maybe you haven't experienced profound loss in your life like that of a limb or a close loved one. That doesn't mean you haven't needed to heal from something. This year has brought an insurmountable load of stress, fear and change. Not to mention the financial uncertaintly individuals and small businesses have dealt with since March. Christmas looks a bit different. Fewer twinkle lights shining through storefront windows as we do our gift shopping online instead. It hasn't been easy on any of us...

So maybe let's all be a little extra kind as we wrap up this dumpster fire of a year. Sprinkle some kindness everywhere and don't forget to sprinkle a little extra on yourself. Like, just take the cap off and dump it all out on yourself, forget what the recipe says...