What makes you feel sexy?

Ok, here goes nothing. I know you're reading this Mom, but it's time to cover the topic that makes us all blush. Most of us are walking around with insecurities that aren't always easy to shake off, even after a tall glass of wine. When it comes to feeling attractive and desired, society's standard of what is considered "sexy" isn't exactly realistic. Especially, when you are missing an entire limb or are dealing with hair loss from chemo. I don't look like a Victoria Secret ad and many in the disability and cancer community can likely say the same. I would wager that most people, in general, don't feel that they fit this ridiculous stereotype. So how do we get past all the noise that says we aren't good enough to be desired? Firstly, we need to know who we are and learn to love that person. You should never need outside validation to tell you that you are enough. If someone makes you feel and look like a stranger in order to want you, they just aren't the right partner and don't deserve your brand of sexy. During my heartbreak years, I learned that molding yourself to fit someone else's checklist will only leave you feeling like a crumbled-up paper doll. It's these kinds of relationships that trigger insecurities to grow to a dangerous size that is far too heavy to carry on your shoulders and still keep your chin up. You will never shake that off until you let that toxic person go and remember there are billions of other people on the planet who would be lucky to see how sexy you are. Not that you should need a partner to feel sexy anyways.

Sexy isn't an outfit or your favorite shade of Dior red lipstick, it's a mindset. One that comes with confidence in who you are and what you want. The right partner who sees that confidence through all your surface-level insecurities knows you are sexy and doesn't see your differences as flaws, rather as the characteristics that make you the sexy goddess that you really are. And if that lipstick, the outfit, a hair flip, or any other non-harmful elements help you kick start that feeling then shamelessly rock it. Just remember that when the war paint comes off, you are still that same goddess.