One year down

Somehow, I missed my one-year ampuversay. How could I forget such a life-changing, monumental event? I've spent the last year dealing with phantom pain, real pain, and stranger stares to get to where I am now. Where is that exactly? Well, I've been so busy finding a sense of normalcy that it hadn't even occurred to me how much my phantom pain has decreased. What once felt like electric shocks shooting through my residual limb, down to where my toes once were, now feels more like a tingling sensation I only notice when my prosthesis is off. My real pain still comes and goes, but only seems to spike when I walk longer distances or wear a poor-fitting socket that's due to be replaced. Strangers still stare. I've accepted the fact that they always will and most days I am able to remain unbothered and flip my hair as I limp by them.

I still deal with anxiety. Some related to my struggles as an amputee, and some related to outside factors like cancer recurrence scares and the loss of loved ones. Just as my journey with self-love and acceptance has been a lifelong one, the same is true with my anxiety. Being an amputee and the ripple effects of the struggles related to that have taught me many things. Among them, the fact that waiting around for things to be easy is useless. The fact is that being an amputee isn't easy. There will be challenges for the rest of my life. I will have to work harder than most to get fit, be mobile, and do things as simple as dressing myself. But I also know that I will continue to find new ways to help myself and others through these struggles.

One year in, I feel far less alone in all of this. I have found my community and support system and together, we laugh when our limbs get sweaty and our prosthesis falls off. We cry together when someone loses their battle with osteosarcoma, and we are there for each other on the days when it's just too overwhelming to laugh.

For the last year, I have been an open book. Sharing with you what it's been like to walk in my shoe, from my very first-month post-op. It has been both therapeutic, and fun to write about my experiences and be able to go back and read how far I've come. If you've followed my story from the start, sipping your Sunday morning coffee while you read my weekly updates, thank you. I hope you have found something here you can connect with and bring into your own life. If you are new to my blog, buckle up... it's going to be an interesting ride.