February Series: Self love and your relationship with yourself

When you're healing from something; where does your mind go first? Which questions do you ask yourself? It's usually some variation of the question " How will I get through this?", and then it tends to spiral into questions about our outside relationships like that with a spouse, children, friends, and our work life. These thoughts flow through our minds at such a rapid pace we can easily forget about ourselves.

Although it's true that we are not alone in our struggle and other people and aspects of our lives will see the ripple effects of our trauma, healing starts and ends with us. There is no one person, situation, or medication that can heal us without us first making the conscious decision that we want to heal and adapt to what has been holding us back. Building a healthier relationship with myself has been the single most powerful thing I have done for myself. I decided to work on my confidence and learn more about who I am, without worrying about what anyone else expects me to be. It's an endless journey finding who you are and loving yourself, despite your flaws, but it is the way out of the darkness.

One of my favorite hobbies lately is time with myself. Uninterrupted time to listen to music, read a book, or just be alone with my thoughts. Build yourself up to a place where being on your own, from time to time, doesn't make you feel bored or lonely. Find out what things make you feel loved that don't involve other people. I know this may sound like a strange concept, but if you don't know yourself well enough without someone else's influence, this won't be easy. It takes effort to break free from who you thought you were and really find yourself, but I can promise you it will unlock the chains that weigh you down and allow you to see where others can fit into your life without consuming it. Be your own advocate and speak up when things just don't work for you. Is your home comfortable and accessible for your needs? Can you easily reach any supplies you need for your care? Are the people currently in your life considerate of your disability? You must be a priority, if you want to find happiness.

Here's the tea: You are powerful, beautiful, brilliant, and brave. You only need to stop looking outside of yourself to be reassured of it.