Patience

I will gladly wait in line for my favorite Cinnamon Dolce Latte from Starbucks but don't ask me to give myself plenty of time to achieve my latest goal because I will roll my eyes and sigh faster than you can say, "give yourself time." We live in an on-demand, 30 minutes or your money back kind of world, and it can be discouraging when our success doesn't happen overnight. But that's how life is beyond the advertisements. Most of it took blood, sweat, tears, and most importantly, time.

After my amputation, I would stare at my residual limb, willing the swelling to go down so I could have my first check socket fitting. Then when that finally happened months later, I had to go through a few check sockets before the fit was good enough to try to attach it to a practice prosthesis. It would be an entire year before I got my very own prosthesis. I would like to say that my experience made me a more patient person, but that would be a lie. It made me so many great things, but patient is not one of them. I did, however, learn to use what I could. And while my body was recovering, my mind was still going a mile a minute, so I started to write down my thoughts, and this blog was born.

Some things are out of our control. I couldn't force my leg to be ready for walking any sooner. No matter how perfectly I wrapped my leg with the right amount of compression, the swelling only came down with time when it was good and ready. If we had tried any sooner, I might have caused irreversible damage to my remaining bone that would set back my walking even more. Accepting my self-image took time too. I didn't just walk up to the first mirror I found and love my new body. I hated getting dressed because I didn't feel like myself. I had to build my relationship with this body and the person I am today. I won't tell you to be patient because I'm not a hypocrite. On the way to Disney World, I still fight the urge to say, "are we there yet?" so, what do I know about patience?

All I know is that the swelling will go down when it's good and ready.