I have nothing to wear… no seriously.

I remember how I would always say " I have nothing to wear!" and insist on shopping for basically every event, big or small. If I only knew then how much more complicated my relationship with clothing would become. Getting dressed for work now starts the night before. I try something on to make sure it won't get snagged on my socket, say a little prayer that I won't have any wardrobe malfunctions. As an above the knee amputee, I know how easily pants can rip on the backside, I put my flat shoe - the only kind I can wear at the moment - on my prosthetic foot. I usually finish by sighing loudly and thinking about how much fun getting dressed once was.

Often times, the unnatural shape of my prosthesis is emphasized by pants as I do not have anything filling the space where my knee should be and the metal stick towards the bottom does not make for a great ankle. Now I usually throw a fit when trying to make them work and just end up in shorts if I'm not going into the office. In the grand scheme of all the struggles that come along with losing a limb, clothing may not sound like a significant one but it is part of what makes us feel like ourselves. All of the sudden "I'm bloated this week" or " I forgot to shave my legs" are only the tip of the iceberg. On top of the challenge of selecting clothing, there is the challenge of putting it on. Changing in a department store dressing room feels like wrestling with an alligator.

I want you to know that I get frustrated. Really frustrated. I want you to know this because this is normal and if you haven't felt it yet, you inevitably will at some point. It's ok to throw a pair of jeans across your room and consider putting all of your clothes in a pile and lighting them on fire so you can just live in sweat pants and never leave your house again. I've been there. Nevertheless, I still reach for boyfriend jeans with daisies embroidered on them and match my sneakers to my sundresses. It may be like putting together a thousand-piece puzzle of Van Gogh's Starry Night but I just wouldn't be myself if I stopped caring about fashion. If it's something you enjoy as I do, It might just be time to get creative and be ever so thankful that sneakers with everything are still in style.

***My favorite prosthetic friendly jeans