How it feels to be a disabled woman of child bearing age right now.

In the last several months, I have seen a really beautiful shift in our country, in the form of women believing in themselves and each other. This, despite a culture that has pinned us against one another, forever competing to be the "best mom" or the "most attractive," fighting over whatever the highest-level job society says is OK for women to have.

All it took was having our bodily autonomy stripped from us and then being presented with a glimmer of hope to not only have a right won by our predecessors in 1973 returned but maybe even create a more even playing field for our gender.

On Tuesday night, that glimmer of hope seemingly faded out. Myself and countless other women were left reeling, wondering how bad things could potentially get over the next four years and how the disabled community will fare when the risk of lost benefits and health coverage are on the table.

As a millennial, I have experienced and witnessed slut-shaming, and gender discrimination in my place of work, and I have myself been guilty of believing some of the negative biases cast against me. We may be more free than our mothers and grandmothers, but still, we carry the weight of inequality. To think of reverting even further back and losing rights and access is sickening. Will those living with disabilities lose the access they don't even have enough of today? What effect will the new economy have on those who are physically unable to work and rely on government assistance?

There is no perfect government. But I refuse to believe that we can't all live in this country with equal opportunity. I will always want us to work together, respect and value one another, and hold those accountable who harm with intent or with only their self interest in mind.

My hope will be back; I am not giving up; I am just taking some time to allow myself to feel and grieve what could have been. Women are resilient. We are powerful, and our voices will be heard.