Don’t forget to do what feels good

What sparks joy for you? Why do you suddenly stop doing it when you go through a rough patch? Have you ever noticed how easily you give up on the things that keep you going the moment you really need them? You push people away, put down your paint brush and pen and decide instead to stare blankly at the tv, watching nothing but sad movies because this is no time to be watching a comedy.

I thought about not writing this post today... or last week's post for that matter. I thought about spending all weekend curled up in a ball of sadness with endless pints of ice cream. I felt like maybe I shouldn’t allow myself to feel joy when someone I love was suffering. But in true human form what I did and what I felt and continue to feel are so many different things. I have laughed, I have cried and I have panicked. I have laid in bed under the covers in silence. Alone with my thoughts and fears and memories of better times. I have talked to him and begged him to hold on. And you know what else I have done? I have come back to the things that bring me joy and peace. I picked up a paint brush and used watercolor to lay my feelings on paper allowing shades of blue to drip down both intensely and softly and somewhere in between. Despite my heavy heart, I wrote down my thoughts to share with you. And it felt good. I also remembered what it was I was asking for and the power behind it.  When you ask for healing, or favor, or peace — put your faith into it. Believe it is so. Miracles come to those who believe they exist.

Just like the weeks that followed my amputation 9 months ago, I came to a path where I could follow the darkness or find my way to the light and I did that with this blog. Writing kept me focused on getting healthier (both body and mind) so that I could continue to share with you my story and show you that you are also capable of getting through it all.

I hope that as you read this, you choose to find what sparks joy and hold on for dear life because it will be your greatest ally when you least expect it.