DISABLED WOMEN IN POWER
Power is a funny thing. It comes more from a mindset than it does from a title. Some people can command a room with their presence alone. Perhaps they were born with something special, or the confidence they have gained, crafting their skill now seeps out of them like sweat in a Florida conference room. Either way, when they speak, people listen. Today, more than 50% of these people are men. As a woman who is a boss and is disabled, I have to work a bit harder than most to prove myself and gain the respect I deserve. Not exactly fair, but certainly accurate.
When I walk up to greet a client from my desk, I look them in the eyes, as any sensible person would, and so I often catch their eyes off guard as they dart towards my prosthesis and then awkwardly back to my face. Then I internally place a bet on when they will ask me what is wrong with my leg (something they would never dare ask a man in power). If it weren't for the way I was raised, I might shrink like a violet in these moments. Instead, I redirect their attention back to our greeting and introduce myself as the manager. Occasionally I get an apology for their incorrect assumption that my male co-worker was the manager. "So sorry, sweetheart."
Today, I walk unassisted with a prosthesis, but 6 months ago, I used arm crutches while healing from revision surgery. Thankfully, my employer never treated me any differently and approved the minimal accommodations I required at the time. I cannot always say the same for those I did business with. There are too many people out there who see disability and being a woman as a sign of weakness. Yes, weakness. Do they know what we have been through?! Nothing weak here. I very much enjoy proving people wrong, but the fact is that I shouldn't have to. My energy and that of my community of disabled women is better spent living our lives to the fullest and quite frankly, doing whatever the hell we want. You know, the stuff able-bodied men are doing. We don't need to measure our wheelchairs to see which one is bigger and better. If we choose to compete in sports or set a career goal, it should be because it's what WE want for ourselves, not only based on surpassing an insignificant stranger's expectations of us. It is not, nor will it ever be, our responsibility to stay within the boundaries society has set for us.
I live you with this little tidbit of joy:
My favorite part of being a lady boss, without a doubt, is telling a condescending man that "no, there is no one above me at the property that he can speak with to get his way." ;)
