Disabled looks like me and also like you.

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment I realized that I am disabled. At the hospital, I was more focused on how to manage my nerve pain and being thankful that I was alive and cancer-free. It must have been some time after I arrived back home. I do remember feeling guilty every time I would ask my Mom or Husband to bring me something. The feeling of helplessness and lack of independence is still one of my biggest struggles today.

I am learning to walk properly and I am not exactly sure where I will be a year from now. My situation has caused me to analyze so many factors before I venture out of my home. How far away will we have to park? Is there somewhere to sit and rest if I get tired? do they have an elevator? This is a daily concern for so many who face a physical disability. I was only given a temporary handicapped tag to use while I was still in a wheelchair. Am I not still disabled? Does it not take 40% more energy for me to walk? Unless I am wearing pants, my disability is very evident. What about those whose disability is not so obvious?

There are people suffering from chronic conditions that cause them pain and discomfort, which makes it much more challenging or in some cases impossible to walk across a large parking lot or climb a tall set of stairs. Are we thinking about them enough? I think that most people aren't looking for you to feel sorry for them. They are just looking to experience all the same things you get to experience. They want to safely and comfortably shop for their groceries, visit a museum, and have lunch with friends. They also want you to know that they are not being "dramatic" when they ask for a simple accommodation that will make it possible for them to do all the same things you do. I watched a documentary about Bethany Hamilton recently where she shared her journey from childhood through today. She is an accomplished pro surfer who lost her arm in a shark attack at the age of 14 and never gave up on achieving her dreams. She got back in the water just weeks after the accident. Despite so many setbacks caused by the accident and the media attention that followed, she found her way back to competitive surfing and even surfed some of the most dangerous waves on the planet just to prove to herself that she could. She was nominated for an ESPY award. This is an honor so many athletes dream of and she was no different. She later found out that what she was nominated for was actually the disability category. She chose to withdraw her nomination. Some may have found her to be ungrateful. To me, that could not be further from the truth. What she wanted was to be honored for what she had worked so hard to achieve. Overall as an athlete and as a person. Disability or not, that part was irrelevant.

I leave you with this thought. Disabled can look so many different ways. If you treat everyone with the same love, respect, and acknowledgment, our voices will be heard and we will get a chance to live the same fulfilled, and adventurous life you live.