Dear Prosthesis- I love you, I hate you.
My most prized possession, the most expensive thing I own, my prosthesis. I fought so hard to have one of my very own. Just like any power couple, we have our ups and downs. It's not me, it's you... well, sometimes it's me.
Yesterday I woke up and got ready for work. Slid into my prosthesis and dressed myself with no issues. I rode to work and as soon as I took my first step out of the car, it slid off me like Kevin McCalister's oversized swimming trunks in "Home Alone". YIKES.
> I was so confused, this had never happened to me unless I was sweaty from a long workout or gardening in the yard. Apparently, this can happen from time to time with volume fluctuation in the residual limb, probably caused by too much pizza, or in this case, not enough. So now I'm on day two of just staring at this beautiful hunk of metal worth more than most cars, unable to use it. While I wait for a new socket to be made to fit me properly, I can't help but think of all the times I tripped over my rubber foot shell and flew across the room, or when my first few sockets were so big I couldn't fit into any pants. I've ruined my fair share of toilet seats with the carbon fiber, and then there is all the skin irritation that comes with the continued pressure of placing all of my weight onto the end of my residual limb so I can walk "properly". It can be a pain (quite literally) but then again I would never be able to walk without it. It's taken me places independently and given me a way to always sparkle — thanks to my gold glitter socket! For all the times I've fallen down, it has caught me far more.
On a trip to Asheville, NC I forgot to pack the charger for my prosthesis. I was so mad at myself because I wanted to go exploring and was hoping to do so without needing my wheelchair. Miraculously, on the 3rd day of the trip, after walking all over town and through the Biltmore Estate gardens, the battery finally died as I was getting in the car to leave. I can't explain how a battery that was only meant to last 24 hours lasted for 72 but I will always be thankful for it.
At the end of the day, our relationship is a complicated one but one I hope never ends. May we thrive together on our best days and put in the time and patience to fix things when they aren't quite right.
