Surgery, we meet again
Several months back, I wrote about pain at the end of my residual limb. The metal stem left behind from my limb salvage surgery almost 7 years ago is extending past where my bone should be, due to bone loss, and is making it quite painful to walk on my prosthesis. I have had to make several accommodations over the last few months while I waited to see if my body would produce scar tissue in place of the bone. I walk with one crutch now and avoid long-distance walking altogether. I still work out weekly but not with my prosthesis on and I focus mostly on my core and upper body to avoid aggravating the femoral nerve. It's been inconvenient and it feels like a step back from all the progress I made over the last year as a new amputee. In true 2020 fashion, my body has not exactly cooperated and my newest x-rays show even more bone loss. My Doctor feels it's best to go ahead and remove the metal stem at this point and shape the remaining bone to give me a more comfortable base for my prosthesis. So here we go... again...again
Am I afraid of having surgery again? No. I am perhaps too comfortable with the idea, having been through 2 major surgeries and at least 5 other small procedures under general anesthesia. But I am worried about how short my limb will be once the surgery is complete. All of my research both pre and post-amputation has always made mention of the connection between the length of your limb and level of functionality. Even on my best day, I limp. How much will I limp when this is over? What about the dreaded nerve pain I felt for months after my amputation? Will I still be able to use the prosthesis I fought with my insurance carrier over for nearly a year? I could drive myself crazy overthinking something I have ZERO control over. So I will spare myself the mental breakdown and throw my hands up, knowing I fully trust my Doctor and the team at Shands Cancer Hospital. I trust my strength and determination and the patience my Mom and Husband have when it comes to taking care of me for weeks on end post-surgery and dealing with my picky food requests. I will be off my foot for a month but I will come back strong like I always do and this time, I will be taking you all along with me. Get ready for the grit and the glory people!
