The juggling act
As I sit here writing this, I have spreadsheets, contracts, and numbers floating in my head like alphabet soup. This is precisely what I once worried about. Spending my weekends stressed about pending work tasks, while I tried unsuccessfully to rest my healing mind and body in preparation for the busy week ahead. How will I make time to spread the word about osteosarcoma awareness and support other survivors and amputees? Can I squeeze in the workouts I need to get stronger without collapsing? This is the juggling act.
Sometimes it feels like I'm walking across a wire in a blizzard. I'm expected to easily make it across, I'm expecting myself to make it across but my balance is off. I can't see what's ahead and i'm struggling. I'm not the only one, I know we're all juggling expectations and responsibilities. How easily we put ourselves last and run out of the fuel we need to keep it all going. Life is so short and here we are running on fumes. The truth is that at the end of the day the pressure to be great at everything and make everyone happy is self imposed. We want it all and when we can't quite grasp how to make it happen we shut down. Anxiety soars and self doubt sets in. Being patient with ourselves is often our last priority. Some of us may be part bionic but we are all human. Empathy pours in for others but rarely for ourselves. I am flawed and I need to accept that in order to grow so that I can learn and juggle when needed. I don't think life's challenges get any easier. I think we just get better at learning how to balance it all. Work, love, peace, strength, success, HEALTH.
I read about a woman who didn't take a vacation, buy any clothing or make any non essential purchases for 2 years. She was able to retire 10 years early. Clearly, this woman has a different definition of essential than I do but that's neither here nor there. She put her happiness first and did everything it took to get there. Maybe happiness for you is becoming CEO. Maybe it's twirling around in a sundress that's a bit out of your budget. Whatever it is, make it the one ball you never ever drop.
