Stop saying “I Can’t”

Lately, I find myself saying "I can't" to more things than ever, and it's forced me to start evaluating why. The obvious answer here is that I only have one real leg, and so many activities are done with two, but is "I can't" the real reason I hold myself back from them?

I am generally optimistic, but that doesn't always stop the fear of the unknown from taking over and making decisions for me. In reality, "I can't" is usually code for; I've never done that, and I'm scared of what it might be like in addition to all the accommodations I might require. Take snowboarding, for example; I tried it once before limb loss and loved it. I fell more times than I can count, but it was thrilling. When a friend recently mentioned taking a trip to a ski resort as a group, I caught myself saying, "I can't do that," without even thinking. What I wish I had said is, "I've never tried snowboarding with a prosthetic, so I'm not sure what that would be like, but I'm willing to do some research to see what kind of accommodations/adaptive lessons are available." because I was, in fact, interested, I was just scared.

Fear loves to stop us from all sorts of exciting adventures and accomplishments. It tells us we aren't capable, aren't deserving, and should just stay home because why risk failing at something?

It's true that some activities are just more difficult for me or likely to cause me pain, so I may choose to pass on them; however - can't - doesn't need to be a part of how I verbalize my choices. And just because something is new to me doesn't mean It's impossible. After all, there was once a time when I couldn't walk an entire block in my prosthesis. What if I had never tried to go further and even further the next time? What if I had just cried in my hotel room instead of going on that short hike in Sedona? I might have never felt the sense of pride that washed over me at the top of slide rock.

Life is so fragile. And I have this feeling that in the end, it isn't the times we stayed home because of all the things we "can't" do that we'll replay in our minds like a stack of Polaroids. I bet it'll be all the times we made the best of what we had and tried, despite our fears.