Comparing your journey to others

Developing a disability is a quick way to notice just how different you look from others, but the truth is, one leg or two, we all do it. We measure so much of our worth by comparing ourselves to people who are living completely different lives. It sounds so silly because it is, but it doesn't make it any less of a reality. How much of what we accomplish is so that other people see us as successful? Or to help us gain some kind of acceptance? And how much of it is because we are being true to who we are at our core?

In the limb loss world, there are different levels of amputation and, therefore, different lengths and shapes of residual limbs. This means some of us have more remaining muscle and functionality than others. Some of us are able to be more physically active than others, and there is no greater reminder of that than when an able-bodied person tells us that they know someone who is disabled like us and wins trophies for competitive sports. It's not that we don't think it's amazing to see representation in sports; WE DO. And it's not that we shouldn't believe in ourselves enough to achieve greatness, but we're not all going to be Paralympic gold medalists, and that's OK. Each of us has our own way of shining, and although it's human nature to think about how our achievements stack up next to someone else's, it isn't exactly healthy. Comparing ourselves does us and our peers a detriment. Your greatness does not have to look like anyone else's to still be GREAT—the moment I accepted that, I became a better friend, cheerleader for others, and self-loving individual.

We are all on our own individual journeys and can, in fact, root for each other's success without jealousy, bitterness, or any feelings of worthlessness. THAT is the goal. THAT is an achievement in emotional maturity and a strong sense of self.